I may kill you if...

you are wearing a train conductor hat.
you are wearing capris and you are a dude.
you are wearing a rhinestone belt.
you play in a band you describe as: "not screamo, not hardcore, not quite emo, but somewhere up my own ass.."
you play in a band y0u can describe in easily defined terminology.
you are a toolbag.
you are sporting a "faux" hawk.
you are a hippie.
you claim not to be a hippie but are obviously living off ma & pa's trust fund and do not own a pair of socks.
you make me listen to your demos. (not that I don't dig it, man, it's just that I want to get a little shut-eye, ya know what I mean? I mean, c'mon, man...shit.)
you make me listen to that one drum break that you did something really cool on...over and over.
you pop your collar.
you are a massive toolbag.