Won a battle, but lost the war

The year-long struggle has ended on a vicious turn of events. I broke down inside. Finally. after all this time.. this effort. this struggle to complete one tiny little mission. one tiny act of a miracle of shoving nature in its face with a pacemaker. slapping it in its mouth. right in the mouth. nope. so close. so close to the pot of gold. so close to the rainbow with a pot of gold at the end of it. so close to that rainstorm to make a rainbow with some gold at the end of it and then laughing at nature right in its face. ha.
if we got everything we wanted well then that would be so much better, wouldn't it? but my spirit is crushed. ive been broked down silly. i brought out a damn plastic box for the damn cat. Happy now you little beatrices?
whatever.