Sunday, July 30, 2006

And We're Back...

And We Won!!
sort of...

we placed in the top three last night at the battle of the bands to open for alice in chains (or Alice in Charge, as my folks would say.) now we have to pick one song to send to AIC and they listen to it and decide who of the three opens for them. i am quite shocked that we won anything sponsored by corporate rock radio, but I'll take it. Now which song to pick? Can't decide.
I really can't decide. Help.
Please weigh in if possible. Tonight and tomorrow morning is all the time we have.
It's like you have 9 children and you can only pick one to go to college. You love them all, but which one has the most potential to support you when you're old? Which child has sustained the least brain damage due to repeated beatings?
Ah, decisions, decisions.

If I were picking a band in a situation like this, I would, (time willing, and I'm sure that's not the case here,) want 2-3 songs to hear. Nothing exposes radio rock bands like their next song. This is how you spell F-O-R-M-U-L-A.

I should know. I can spell.

I REAllY, REALLY, don't like music competitions. They make me ill. SO MUCH PRESSURE!! AHHHH!! I messed up. I forgot where I was at in The Ghost Song Part II. While I was thinking about it, the band continued on, without recognizing they had left me behind. I was looking out in the crowd trying to see if I could make out any judges by their judgingish looks. Everyone was a judge! Even me. Then I saw a bunny and thought about the Easter I received a knitted sweater-vest from my great-grandma and was forced to wear it for family pictures. I was also forced to wear it at future visits to show my gratitude. Great-grandma's ice-cream always had cat hair in it. Old-Grandma lived in a trailer and her cat was named Jody. Or possibly Jodi. Old-Grandma had one of the original Rascal-type motor-cart deals and a ramp that led up to her door. She drove it in her trailer but I could never figure out where she could turn around. On visits, when we were bored, we would take it out in her trailer-park circle and drive it around. O-G always had ice-frost on her ice-cream, even though we ate it every week. You had to yell for her to hear you, but she would say, "don't yell at me!" She usually seemed really grouchy. She had greenish-brown shag carpeting. At one point she bought a keyboard but she was too old to play it so every week I had to play a little somethin-somethin. At one point I inherited that Kawai and it still rocks the house with sleepeater. It still has some of the key-lettering stickers on it.

another reason I hate "battles." this was posted on a fellow "competitor's" myspace:

"dude fuckin ripoff..you guys deserved to win that..wtf was that sleepeater shit..thats like slowdance shit..lol i actually did slow dance to it with my gf for a lil while..then i was like "ok im gonna fall asleep"...ttfg and u guys shoulda been in the 3...ripppofff"

oh man. and we played our most rockinish material:( ouch.

the comment posted before that one on the same site read:

"hey guys, its depressing u guys didnt make it, but to make u feel better lol u FUCKING ROCKED HARD, the bra and silly string made it all the better lol"

.........

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

An Actual Convo Held Today

me: "So how's the muffler business?"
muffler man: "Exhausting"

later that day...

m.m.: "Well, I'm goin' home...man, I'm beat!"
me: "Exhausted?"

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Why Can't You Just "Be"?

Every band in this town is on a mission to be something.
"They're trying to be classic rock"
"They're trying to be Black Heart Procession"
"They're trying to be bluegrass Johnny Cash"
"They're trying to be hipster metal"
"They're trying to be Phish"
"They're trying to be black metal"
"They're trying to be a Beatles tribute band"
"They're trying to be annoying turds"

Try this:
BE YOURSELF.

I'm so tired of all this poser bullshit. Can't you think for yourself?
Why can't you try to just be a band? Like, a band that hasn't already done that shit that you're doing now?
Oh, that's right. cause the peeps are eatin it up! You remind them of that one band!
Quick, everyone! Come here! These fellas have figured out how to sound like that most popular band on the underground scene at the moment! Quick, get in on this! You could say you knew them when they were pretending to sound like (insert name of trendy haircut band here)!! Hurry, before they break up and reform as (insert trendy skinny-tie-wearing-band here)!!

It's like the same 5 dudes in this town keep reforming a band that will rip off the latest underground music trend. I'm so over it. Not that I was ever under it...
First it was the cock rock phase...
then doom rock...
then break up to reform a "classic rock emo" band...
then, alert the Argus! we're now a techno/jam/salsa/texmex band!
BUY MY NEW RECORD!

FUCK YOU BUDDY!!

eat sleep. sell out this.
Miles L., your paps is a pasty loser, but..well, no...that's it.